Humor

Shark Tank?

After beating the Colorado Avalanche in the first round and blowing past a hot Craig Anderson, it appears as if the San Jose Sharks are making quick work of a veteran filled Detroit Redwing’s who stuttered in the regular season and squeaked by Phoenix in the first round.

However, if there is one thing that is more constant than being confused after an episode of Lost, it’s that the San Jose Sharks always choke when it counts. If it is a guarantee that Liverpool will never win the Premier League or that the Toronto Bluejays won’t get past the Red Sox and Yankees into the playoffs, then its 100000% certain the Sharks will find a way to lose this series.

That being said, here`s their recent choking playoff history:

2009 Lost to Anaheim Ducks West Quarters Finals – After winning the Presidents Trophy in the regular season, they promptly went their opening two home games. They won game 5 in OT to push the series to a sixth game, but were crushed 4-1 as they fell to the 8th seed.

2008 Lost to Dallas Stars in the West Semi-Finals – They squeezed by the Calgary flames after winning game seven but then promptly lost their first three games against Dallas. They managed to pull back two before being beaten in the Fourth overtime of Game 6.

2007 – Lost to Detroit Redwings in the West Semi-Finals – Beat Nashville in 5 games and looked dominant. However, never really managed to get going in this series and got shut out in Game 6.

2006Lost to the Edmonton Oilers in the West Semi-Finals – Easily dealt with Nashville in 5 games and then went full tilt at the Oilers. They won the first three, but couldn’t close out and let in 17 goals in the final four games as they were dumped out of the playoffs.

So Redwing fans and Hockey fans alike don’t worry! The Sharks will probably choke and all will be right in the world. Heck, even if they do win the series, it just means they’re saving their best choke yet for when they face the Vancouver Canucks in the West Finals.

Henry Whitfield is an avid sports fan who covers everything and anything in the sports world, while focusing on hockey and football. Follow him on twitter @HenryWhitfield.

Round Two:What we want to see, but won’t…

After an exciting first round that saw plenty of overtime action, highlight reel saves and ridiculous goals, it’s time to move on and enjoy Round Two of the 2010 NHL Playoffs

Here’s some thing’s we’d like to see happen in Round Two:

– Sydney Crosby realizes his dirt ‘stache needs to go and shaves it off. Women everywhere rejoice and declare a national holiday.

Joe Thornton learns how to score in the playoffs; Unfortunately he was taught by Dan Boyle, and it ends in the back of his own net.

– The San Jose Sharks forget to book their flights to Detroit. Hey, it’s not their fault! They just haven’t made it through the first round in a while… give them a break!

– The Boston Bruins get tired of Carcillo and Zdeno Chara throws round like a rag doll, McCabe anyone? *Okay this one might actually happen..

Even though they were no where close to the playoffs, Brian Burke decides to hold a news conference to inform the media on how his team’s golf game is going.

– The Ottawa Senators still manage to have a better golf game than the Leafs, even though they’ve had a month’s less practice. I guess that’s where Daniel Alfredsson and Milan Michalek for the first round.

Marc Savard returns from injury, determined to prove he isn’t made of glass and goes after Mike Richards. He was wrong and shatters into a million little pieces. Game 1  is delayed by an hour as the rink crew picks up the pieces.

– The Twitter account of Allan Walsh breaks and the hockey world is free from …”Halak it, Halak it a lot!“… and his comparing of his client Jaroslav Halak to the greats like Patrick Roy and Ken Dryden.

– The Vancouver Canucks announce that they’ve legally changed the name of forward Mikael Samuelsson to Mikael Sedin, but Mikael decides to play like Daniel in the first round and forgets how to score.

– Contrary to recent reports, Steve Yzerman does not join the Tampa Bay Lightning as their GM, he instead suits up for the Redwings and leads them to a sweep of the Sharks and scoring a hat trick in all four games.

Henry Whitfield is an avid sports fan who covers everything and anything in the sports world, while focusing on hockey and football. Follow him on twitter @HenryWhitfield.