How the Habs can beat the Pens

With the Montreal Canadien Bandwagon in full effect and fans believing that they can make it past the defending Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins and their superstars, it’s time to look at the five possible ways that the Canadiens could possibly beat the Pens.

–          In a wild twist Jacques Martin reveals that his sensation Jaroslav Halak is actually a cyborg built by the team to fill the gap left between the pipes from the Patrick Roy trade. In a further twist, he says they tried to do this when he was in Ottawa, but alas, they accidently programmed their robot to play like Patrick LaLime.

 –          In an attempt to stop the offence of the Penguins, defencemen Hal Gill lies down along the blue line, essentially making it impossible to skate into the Montreal zone past the 15ft tall defencemen. After, Pundits laud this move and point out it’s the fastest he’s looked in years!

–          Habs fans create a “What If Moment” video of Sidney Crosby’s golden goal, leaving a copy under the superstar’s door. Sid spends the rest of the series in his hotel room, stroking his ego and telling himself how amazing he is. He ends up missing the rest of the series.

–          The Quebec government makes it law that all French Canadience players must play for the Canadiens; Marc-Andre Fleury, Maxime Talbot, Pascal Dupuis, Kris Letang dress for the Habs.

 –          Former owner and fan, George Gillette organizes the Penguins to be in a Gillette commercial; The Pens shave, and are subject to the worst losing streak since the Red Sox broke the Curse Of The Bambino, going 100 years until their next cup win.


Henry Whitfield is an avid sports fan who covers everything and anything in the sports world, while focusing on hockey and football. Follow him on twitter @HenryWhitfield.


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